In summer search for beauty most people work on whipping their bodies into perfect physical shape, but maybe we should focus on whipping our mental state into shape and gain some bikini-ready confidence.
Summer is here and appearing with the lovely weather and yellow sun comes the inevitable issue of bikini season. You’re out and about with your kids when you see some hot-bodied chick in her itsy-bitsy teeny-weenie yellow polka-dot bikini. Self-esteem killer anyone?
If we’re a little honest with ourselves, we might say that she drew our attention. If we’re real honest, we might add that we wish we looked exactly like her but don’t and have been self-diagnosed with post bikini stress disorder or PBSD.
Why is that?
Is it because we were raised with media saying girls have to remain modelesque even if they’ve had 4 kids and are well into their 40s? Yeah, possibly. Because we fear our husbands will get an eye-load and realize he’s missing out? That’s almost too scary to think! Or is it because we’re missing something?
Are we missing a toned, fit, hard core mental confidence in ourselves? Is it even possible to fix our minds when there are pretty women everywhere and we’re stuck with a mommy bod? I believe so!
Just like working out all February, March, and April to have a bikini ready bod, achieving and maintaining a bikini-ready confidence is a ceaseless task. However, confidently loving your body will benefit you more than a gym membership ever could!
Being confident makes you more attractive to people around you, but, what’s better is, it also makes you more attractive to yourself. In gaining mental confidence you lose physical insecurities, potential bad dieting habits, overworking your body, and you forget to care about your ongoing beauty competition with the rest of the world.
How do you work out your mind enough to build a bikini-ready confidence by summertime? Do these things day in and day out. At least as often as a workoutaholic drinks health shakes, visits the gym, and gazes into the mirror.
See more than the sum of your body parts.
In my college days when I was working out 5 days a week for 2 hours a day my life was all about being in the best shape. For some reason the best shape didn’t bring me more happiness than my thunder-thighs had. I was even more aware of other girls and their bodies than before!
In truth, I prioritized looks over integrity and heart. I was counting on my looks to build my confidence.
Let’s analyze attractiveness real quick.
When I think of the most attractive people I know and respect, I see a pattern. They take care of their bodies but they don’t spend all day everyday in the gym trying the newest squat move. They’re at work, trying new recipes, in the gym maintaining healthy bodies, hiking a new mountain, helping out friends.
The attractive people are beautiful because of who they are. Their beauty is formed by their confidence, solid integrity, enduring kindness, and positive outlook. When the qualities of a person are beautiful the outside looks beautiful, as well.
They’re more than the sum of their body parts – which is why their bodies don’t have to be absolutely perfect to attract others.
Know the “perfect body” is a myth.
Beauty is ever-changing. Cliché, I know. But when the truth slaps you across the face…what can you do?
If you try to attain the perfect body you’ll be changing your appearance for the rest of your life. You’re not really seeking one body-type, you’re desiring acceptance from everyone. Problem is, everyone is hard to please.
Being beautiful is up in the air depending on where you go and who you’re asking. So why not not ask anyone? Maybe just do and be the things you find beautiful and see where that gets you.
Build other women up.
Why does our self-esteem sometimes hinge on the fact that we are the most beautiful woman in the room? We need to lift each other up rather than get caught up competing with one another. Comparing doesn’t result in positive change. It usually results in insecurity or pride depending on if you’ve got less or more than the person you’re comparing yourself with.
On the other hand, building someone up gives you a kind heart – which is beautiful!
Also, if you’re spending all your time building someone else up for their not only looks but quality traits you’ll begin recognizing your own traits as valuable. In short, you will find yourself more attractive by finding others more attractive for the right reasons.
Have positive self-talk.
You also need to encourage yourself in the qualities you find important. Build yourself up!
Instead of saying “I hate my stomach. My arms are getting flabby. My eyes have crow’s-feet and I’m only 23!”
Try saying “My husband loves my figure! These arms carry a kid around all day, of course I’m strong! The crinkles around my eyes are from all my great friends who’ve made me laugh over the years.”
The difference these statements have on your mental confidence is astounding. The first set is always a put down, while the second will bring confidence, gratitude, and kind thoughts for others. Try it out!
My name is ________. I’m insecure about my ________ on my body.
Now really think about positives that can accompany that insecurity!
Stretch marks? You must’ve made some beautiful children! Cellulite? Your kids will recognize bodies are not airbrushed but real and made for real people! Too little muscle in today’s over-muscled society? Your muscles are dependable and always complete the task at hand!
What does God find beautiful?
This verse is fairly straightforward.
But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Sam 16:7
People have trouble looking past what they can see, yet, thankfully, on Judgement Day God won’t be swayed by our wearing tattoos and pink hair or our hard-earned muscles and sexy curves. God will have no trouble looking past those to what our hearts hold for Him.
If we can desire to please God instead of the world then we can confidently decide our heart is more valuable than our body’s looks.
Can we make it a goal to value ourselves? Can we step up, go out into the world, be less competitive with others and more invested in building ourselves and others up? Then can we actually value ourselves for being amazing?