Okay, I’ll try…no, no, you know what?? I’m going to tell you why saying “I’ll try” can wreck your confidence. Boom! Doesn’t that sound like a convincing statement? More so than the first intro? Like something you can actually put your faith in?
Assertive statements are just more convincing. They wield power well by making us think “She means exactly what she says when she says it!”
How does “I’ll try” measure up?
“Okay, I’ll try!”…You might try, but I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of people say this when they feel they can’t do what they’re agreeing to. It’s also not an assertive statement. Saying it lessens your own and others’ belief in you. It would be fantastic to actually mean you’ll try with your whole heart and look forward to only the best of results! But that’s not how I used to roll, and I think other people realized this, too.
Can you bake my birthday cake? I’ll try. Will you help me with my essay? I’ll try. Do you wanna lead this group next week? I’ll try. Let’s po-go stick while clapping our hands! I’ll try…
I’d say “I’ll try” to things while politely feeling like “There’s no way on Earth that’s going to end well.” I told myself it was to be more honest, as in, I’ll try and if it doesn’t work out…I told you so! Very much a back-up escape hatch for anytime I felt incapable. Everyone listening to my half-baked agreement recognized my insecurity, trusted that I measured my skills accurately, and doubted me, too.
It’s a lose-lose situation, people!
“I’ll try” reeks of hidden offenses saying we may not be productive enough or brave enough or smart enough to get things done! The two words alone are not demeaning in any way, but our mindset when we use them sure can be!
Now on to positivity!
Get this: the things we say “I’ll try” to are usually things we can absolutely do! Whaaaaat?! What are you saying??
Let me rephrase: You got this!
All our time spent doubting ourselves and worrying is usually proved pointless when we, lo and behold, do exactly what we said we’d try to do!
However, like me, by that tiresome point you probably consider it a miracle that you accomplished anything, thank God for His obvious help in your miracle, and move on to your next worrisome “I’ll try” agreement.
There’s a problem here!
These are endless cycles of self-doubt and we have to stop them before they have a chance to begin again!
How do you end the cycles?
There was a smidge of advice that really turned things around for me, and I’ll share it with you:
Don’t say “I’ll try”!
Don’t say it!
Say anything else: You betcha! I’ll do it! You can count on me! No problem! Pick literally anything you want but make it a phrase that is sure of itself.
How does something else in place of those two tiny words make a difference?
In switching it up, you leave your verbal doubt in the dust. Adios, muchacho! You’ll sound more confident to the people you’re talking to which allows them to believe in you. Their belief in you will do one of two things: it will bolster your own belief in yourself, or it will light a fire under your bottom to do what you said you’d do!
You may still feel doubt deep in your belly, but that’s okay! Baby steps. Baby steps.
The doubtful view you have of yourself is not as easily changed as switching up a few words, but, remember, we usually can do the things we agree to whether we use “I’ll try” or “I’ll do it”. Since we all learn and gain confidence through experience, the more you agree to things and see them to fruition the more belief you will have in yourself. Yesss! Growth!
After a few successes, you won’t feel as nervous when you agree to things because you’ll have tons of experience just screaming your capable-ness.
One last thing.
You know, God didn’t make us to be fearful beings. Us sitting back, thinking we can’t do anything, that sounds fearful to me! Fear of failure.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7
God gave us a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline! We need to know that, in God, we are capable. If our plans align with His will then there is no way we can fail. If our plans don’t align with His will then it may be better that we do fail. We have been given this life to live bravely, and, unfortunately, I spent a great part of my life cowering behind a spirit of fear and timidity.
So my last bit of advice is to pray. Pray that God will help you through self-doubt and move you onward to confidence and good self-esteem. Pray that you rely on Him because without Him our “try”-ing to live isn’t living at all. Pray that you will do all that He asks of you.
God created you to be a capable person in Him. Now, let’s go out ready with an “I’ll do it!” for when the world asks us if we can.